Everyone experiences loss in life. Sometimes having children can also mean having to deal with loss. A pregnancy can end abruptly at an early stage. Or you may need to choose whether or not to terminate a pregnancy. The baby can die while in the womb, during the birth or even afterwards. These are very difficult situations where support from the people around you and from healthcare providers can be necessary.
It is also possible that your newborn poses a situation you imagined differently. This may be because of the child needing more care than expected. Accepting that the situation didn’t work out as planned is difficult but necessary.
With loss comes grief. The duration of the pregnancy or how old a child is does not determine the extent of loss and mourning you experience. It is a very personal process. Even a pregnancy which has ended early can be a great source of grief.
In this section of the website we aim to help you deal with loss. We have subdivided the different things you can experience. We recommend certain websites and books which we believe can offer support. Need help? Feel free to ask us.
Sometimes you need more help during your grieving process. We have included details of several professionals who can provide this.
As (expecting) parents, you can experience the loss differently and process it individually. This can sometimes be difficult. It’s important to keep talking to each other about this. Have you noticed that the loss is causing a distance between you? Then seek help together.
You have experienced loss and would like to share any coping tips with other grieving parents? Please let us know so that we can post these on our website.
Below you can find more information on how to deal with loss. Most pages are only available in Dutch.
And finally: whenever things don’t go as expected, we are always here to offer help.
Read more about a miscarriage in our brochure.
Miskraambegeleiding – for miscarriage counseling
FIOM– coping with an obortion
Watermethode – the ability to see a premature baby in water
Troost – to find your way through loss, farewell and bereavement
Stillborn – practical information around the choices you face when a pregnancy is terminated or a baby is stillborn
Watermethode – being able to properly see a premature baby in water
Loss app – Loss is an app that empowers yourself and others after losing a baby
www.sczb.nl – peer group terminating a pregnancy
Stille levens – Lots of different leaflets containing information on: how to say goodbye to my baby, what to think about during the funeral, how will my parnter and I manage this together, how can I help my other children, what is it like for fathers, pregnancy termination for a wanted baby, pregnancy after losing your baby etc.
Prikkelpracht – Offers guidance to families with a child with a condition
Stichting Lotje & Co – Lotje&co Foundation wants to show family members and loved ones of care-intensive children the opportunities available in life with a care-intensive child
burying babies < 24 weeks – Municipality of Utrecht
Ima Afscheidszorg – funeral of babies who died around birth, regardless of gestational age
Houvast Uitvaart – biedt gespecialiseerde begeleiding aan ouders van kinderen die tijdens de zwangerschap of na de geboorte overleden zijn tot de leeftijd van een jaar.
moederziel.nl– coaching: miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy
www.liesbethbauer.nl – practice for psychotherapy and grief counselling
www.thepositiveperspective.nl – two-day meeting – losing a child during pregnancy